Happiness Is for Hippies?

Ok, so the title was little more than a cheap ploy to draw your attention. But, the truth of the matter is that we should all be happy and enjoy life, not just those embedded in the hippy culture, living life on their own terms.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about life balance, happiness, joy and what's important in life. Yeah, I know, money is important but it doesn't buy you happiness.

If that were the case, the United States would be one of the happiest countries on the face of the earth: we have one of the wealthiest populations on the planet.

In fact, when compared to other countries, we don't rank anywhere near the top in happiness: the U.S. is #23.

I found this really cool article called "The World Map of Happiness" on Guy Kawasaki's blog.

Here's who made the top 20:

1. Denmark
   
2. Switzerland
   
3. Austria
   
4. Iceland
   
5. The Bahamas
   
6. Finland
   
7. Sweden
   
8. Bhutan
   
9. Brunei
   
10. Canada
    
11. Ireland
    
12. Luxembourg
    
13. Costa Rica
    
14. Malta
    
15. The Netherlands
    
16. Antigua and Barbuda
    
17. Malaysia
    
18. New Zealand
    
19. Norway
    
20. The Seychelles
    

Here's the actual World Map of Happiness Map

So, with all that being said:

• What is happiness?
• How can you be content, regardless of your circumstances?
• How do you find joy whether something good or bad happens to you?
• What does life-balance and quality living have to do with happiness?

I'll address these questions in a future post...

Loving Your Mistakes: Are You Nuts?

I know, I know, everyone makes mistakes and "failure" is part of life's experience.

What follows is an article I found that is really powerful, for the simple lesson it contains: its about loving your mistakes and accepting yourself and others in the process. And yes, its pretty transparent, even personal...

Anyway, It hit home for me.
As difficult as this is to say, I can be very judgmental of myself and others, in particular with my wonderful wife. Granted, we all make mistakes and have faults, but some tend to let these things slide while others are more like me (as embarrassing as this is) and can sometimes not be too forgiving.

The article really touched my heart and got through to me. Here are some key things I learned:

1. When my wife forgets or makes mistakes, whatever, I can simply accept it, realizing that she's only human, and that's part of the special someone that she is.
2. I can recognize that forgetfulness or follow-through is not her strength and love her for who she is and not judge her for who she's not (more like me).
3. As I am more compassionate and understanding of others, their actions and who they are, things seem to occur naturally when I don't force it. Things fall into place in an almost miraculous manner.
4. When I "go with the flow," accepting all that comes my way instead of fighting it, I am more peaceful, happy and content.

Here's the article (it's a bit long, but I think worth the read):

"Can You Love Those 'Mistakes'?"
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. & Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D

It's so easy to feel embarrassed and humiliated by the dumb stuff we all do. You've no doubt tried to hide the evidence that would expose you. And every one of us has lied to cover up our mishaps.

But what about turning moments that might be thought of as mistakes into just another aspect of your ability to be fabulous at accepting all of who you are . . . who you really are . . .and incorporating your ditzy, addle-brained professor stuff into your intimate family history?

The other day Judith decided she would make lamb stew. But she didn't have any flour to thicken her concoction. So she thought by mashing up some of the cooked potatoes and putting that into the mix it would do the job.

Well, it didn't. So what she ended up with was a pretty runny mix.

She told Jim about her experiment and then served him what was kind of like stew and sort of like soup.

Jim started calling it "stoup." Lamb stoup.

Now "stoup" is part of our intimate history and an endearment that will be with us for a
long time.

And then another time Jim used an antique piano stool he'd bought for Judith as a step stool
to fix a window blind. Oops! The mahogany seat cracked and it now wobbled when Judith
sat on it to do her make-up.

At first she couldn't understand what had caused the damage, but then she put two and
two together -- and voila! -- she'd solved the puzzle.

Now, she had to reconcile her anger at the broken piano stool with her compassion for Jim's naivete about how delicate some things can be.

The answer -- to remember that it all came from love -- both the gift of the stool and the crack that happened while Jim was lovingly fixing the blind. So she decided to get it fixed so it won't wobble anymore but keep the crack -- because every time she sees the crack she sees how
much Jim's behavior is motivated by love.

And, just like with "stoup," the cracked piano stool is also part of our family's romantic lore.

How can you see your foibles as simply human, sometimes pretty funny, sometimes a lot of aggravation, but just human . . .

AND love your humanity while you fix the problem as well as you can?

On the other hand, how can you get creatively generous . . .and make the most loving tribute out of your sweetheart's mistakes?

After all, they're just "mistakes."

And you can be so wonderfully fabulous when you open your heart.

Just remember that even you can be a goof up from time to time . . . and then you can give
the gift of your heartfelt humor and understanding!

So love those mistakes!

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NOTE: Reprinting of this article in newspapers, newsletters,
ezines, and blogs is allowed as long as proper author
credits and, if published online, a link is provided back to
http://www.fearofbeingfabulous.com
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Gratitude Attitude Works Wonders

I call it "5 I'M T4." What it is: every day I spend just a few minutes writing out 5 things I'm thankful for. Now, it doesn't have to be anything earth-shattering. The key is just to get into the habit of doing it--in order to generate the attitude of THANKSGIVING in your heart.

I know it sounds weird, but little else has helped me with my attitude to this extent. Not affirmations, positive books or much else.

I've been doing it now (again) for almost a month. Every time I stop, then start, I'm literally amazed at what a difference it makes in my life.

Here's what happens with me:

• I have a better outlook on life, when my nature is to be sceptical and cynical.
• I am more open to receiving good things or blessings, from both people and in circumstances.
• I expect good things to happen and they just "naturally" work out.
• I am more positive and confident.
• I am less focused on my insecurities and more interested in helping others.

I encourage you to give it a whirl. Try it for three weeks, on weekdays (give yourself a break on the weekends so you look forward to it). That way you'll establish a habit that may radically change your life for the best!